Happy National Coming Out Day! Let's Hear YOUR Stories!

National Coming Out Day is a day that commemorates those that have come out, those coming out and those willing to have discussion about doing so.  It more importantly celebrates gay and lesbian rights.  The date of October 11th (which happens to be my birthday too, oddly enough) was chosen to celebrate the anniversary of the march in Washington D.C. on October 11th, 1987 that was held for gay and lesbian rights.  More information about this nationally observed day is located here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day

On June 27th, 1999 I came out, officially.  I spent all my youth in hiding my authentic self.  I actually wasn't sure though of who I was until my teen years.  I thought I was confused about who I was attracted to at a young age and I still found myself attracted to women. While I was still very young when I came out, I was sure of my identity when I officially came out on the date of June 27th, 1999.

A year earlier, It was almost like a wake-up call.  I woke up one morning and decided that I wanted to find someone to love and I decided that that someone would be a man.  I had relationships with girls in the past, and most fell through. I could not devote myself to any women and felt that the relationship was superficial.  I decided that I was really just attracted to men and therefore would pursue that.  I started to meet men off the Internet. I met three in particular that were all very different and gave me incredible insight into gay life.  One guy in particular really struck me.  He taught me much of what I came to know about gay culture and gay life. He introduced me to places in NYC that I would someday venture when I was of age to do so.  He wasn't a lover, but he made me feel comfortable about who I was and he also was the person that made me decide to "come out." The week before Pride, this guy asked if I would like to join him for the Pride Parade.  He told me I would get to see a lot of gay culture, nightlife, groups, organizations, etc.  I thought this would be great to see and get exposed to.  I told him that I would come in to see it on that Sunday.  I got up very early on Sunday, June 27th 1999 and took a bus from my father's house in New Jersey to NYC. My father thought it was a little strange I was leaving so early for the city.  However, I was so excited that I didn't even think to realize he might wonder why I was heading in so early.  I arrived in the city and had one of the best days of my life. I watched the parade from uptown a bit.  I saw so many things that made me happy to be who I was.  I never realized there were so many people that we're out and open. It shocked me to see how open people were with their sexuality.  I started to feel much more comfortable about who I was just by viewing this. We walked down to the village where I was even more shocked (yet happy) about the things I was seeing. I had my day filled with completely new experiences, I was so overjoyed by the complete comfortability of so many that I started to become much more comfortable myself.  I headed back to Port Authority to return home.  I went to my mother's house two blocks down the street from my father.  I got a call not much later from my father telling me to come home because he needed to talk to me.  I was very scared by the call, I figured my father had found something out about me.  I was very unsure of how my family would react. I never heard them talk necessarily bad about gay people, but also never heard anything necessarily good.  I went to my father's house (probably more scared than I had ever been, but I realized that I was ready to come out).  My father took me into the living room and sat me down and very abruptly said, "I know where you were today." My body tensed up with nervousness, I started to sweat and my skin went cold.  He then stated, "Why were you at the gay pride parade?" and at this point my heart sank into my stomach. I paused for about a minute and said, "Dad, I was at the gay pride parade because...because...I'm gay." My dad looked at me with glossy eyes and said "I've always known and I've always loved you and always will." I then broke down crying. The feeling of "coming out" is one unlike any other.  For years you hide who you are and then one day you have the ability to FINALLY admit who you really are to the people that you love.  It was such a relief to finally say who I was.  I asked my father that he not tell the other family members but about 25 minutes later every family member knew about me.  I was actually glad that they did, it made my job much easier.  Not one family member was upset about it.  I got nothing but praise from every family member.

Coming out was one of the BEST days of my life and I just pray that everyone can experience the joy that I experienced by revealing my authentic self.  I know that's certainly not the case for many but I will tell you that coming out is a process.  The first person you have to come out to is YOU! That in itself is priceless, special and important.  If you're happy and love yourself then that is all that truly matters.  If there are people around you that can't accept you for who you are it's because they can't accept themselves; that's the truth. You will find solace in coming out. No one has to accept you, but YOU. Be happy, be proud and be you.

NOW LET ME HEAR YOUR STORIES! 

xoxo,
Chris Ryan