Getting Pretty For The Gym 101

Now it may seem odd to some of you that people actually get ready before they go to the gym, but it happens; and it’s alarming that it’s frequency is higher than you think. Is vanity running slowly taking control of your life or are you just too vain?

Let’s run down the checklist of items that will determine just how pretty you must feel for the gym.

Pretty petty vanity at the gym:

1. Did you shower before the gym?

2. Did you put on make-up or do your hair?

3. Just how many push-ups and sit-ups did you do before entering the gym? (Come on, don’t lie)

4. How much body spray and cologne did you put on before leaving the house?

5. Hey! Who’s that? Oh it’s ME looking in the mirror again. Does this sound like you?

6. How many times did you lift up your shirt to check out your ABS with that squinted “I want to f*ck me” look?

7. Oh come on, don’t pretend you didn’t want me to see your ABS. Right?!

8. Did you seriously just fix your hair in the mirror while lifting with one arm? Wow!

9.  Are you comparing yourself to others? No of course not, right!?

10. And finally, did you really just get all pretty to walk into the steam room? I’m seriously going to smack you.

If you answered yes to a majority of these questions then you need to immediately see a psychiatrist. Wait, actually, if you said yes to ANY of them, you do.

Happy lifting!