How About We Just Forget Marriage

***Disclaimer: I am not against marriage (& yes this blog will be a bit more serious)***

I refer you to this article written by a psychotherapist before continuing to read: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/intelligent-lust/201201/the-case-against-marriage

Okay so divorce rates for first marriages are at a steady 50%, 60% and higher for second marriages and even worse stats for 3rd marriages and beyond. These are currently the statistics for heterosexual marriages. If we factor in homosexual marriages in a few years I'm sure the rates will go even higher. Is this an unfounded statement? Slightly, yes. Do we stop fighting for marriage equality? Not at all, but we just don't focus as much attention on it.  Marriage has profound psychological effects on a person that have been founded with empirical research dating back to the 1950's.  Many of those effects have actually been damaging to the relationship. The idea & concept of a nuclear family is no longer what it was. Over 40% of children are now born outside of marriage.  What are we doing wrong here? 

We're making marriage too much of a serious issue. While it does grant us the rights that heterosexuals have in their marriages, it is also destroying their relationships. The institution of marriage is quickly crumbling (and thankfully we didn't do it). And let's be honest, people like Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears aren't helping marriage's case. The media is full of people who have put a bad name to marriage. What kind of effects is this having on children who hear and see all of this?

Let me make an analogy here; let's take our favorite hobby (i.e. playing guitar) and turn that into a job. Now with your new job playing guitar you must play the guitar for several hours a day, if not more. You have to play the guitar a certain way and adhere to certain rules.  Is this hobby going to be fun for you anymore or just work/stress? My theory is that marriage becomes a job sometimes and destroys the fun that the relationship once was.  I'm not saying that all relationships crumble when marriage is brought into the picture, but they certainly change the dynamic of the relationship.  There's an added stress level and more demands that were not there during the relationship.

So point being stated, why are we fighting so hard for quickly deteriorating institution? Do the rights that go along with marriage matter more than the actual relationship? Let's weigh the advantages and disadvantages before we run into this burning house.

-Chris Ryan